As a therapist, I often identify with my client’s struggles and challenges (because I have them too!), and one of those struggles is dealing with the feeling of anxiety and overwhelm that comes with the every-day unexpected events we all face.
Life is hard and chock-full of unpredictability and unknowns – and just when we start feeling like things are going well and there’s nothing but clear skies ahead – BAM! – something in our life goes awry, and we’re faced with an unexpected financial expense, job change, or perhaps even a break-up of our primary relationship.
Life doesn’t follow a straight path for any of us, and if we aren’t prepared emotionally and mentally to manage these bumps in the road, we can be seriously derailed. But, how do we prepare ourselves to handle whatever life throws at us?
- Don’t Panic
Dealing with life’s challenges requires a calm, clear, head. And while our knee-jerk reaction to an unforeseen life problem is to lose our cool, it’s vital that we maintain it! - Be Realistic
Life isn’t perfect! And it’s important to accept and understand that. And just like Forest Gump said, “life is like a box of chocolates and you never know what you’re gonna get”. - Be Pragmatic
When life throws you an unexpected problem – stay mentally focused on the issue at hand. Don’t catastrophize, or get bogged down by your emotional response. Assess, focus on the facts, determine your options, pick one, and execute. - Be Patient and Take a Step Back
Don’t make rash decisions! What feels overwhelming and insurmountable right in this minute – won’t in the morning. - Don’t Go It Alone
No person is an island – so utilize your natural resources (friends, extended family, partner/spouse), if you need someone to help you problem-solve. Having another opinion can be both helpful and reassuring. - Manage Your Anxiety
Worrying, ruminating, or dwelling, on past, present, or future, problems doesn’t eliminate or solve them – so don’t do it. - Take Care of Your “Self”
When our emotional tank is on empty, we are more likely to panic and overreact to an unexpected life event. Create space in your emotional tank by getting enough sleep, eating healthy, reducing alcohol consumption, getting some exercise a few times each week, and prioritizing alone time.
Though there are so many unknowns in life, one thing is for certain – we will all be presented with another problem, issue, or challenge, that we need to manage – but, if we are equipped with the skills and tools necessary to meet those problems/challenges head on, we may be able to keep them from throwing us too far off course.
Are you ready to learn how to become more resilient to life’s ups and downs? If so, I can help.
Colin Hammer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Wheaton, IL specializing in helping individuals and couples struggling with anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties.